Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
