Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
