a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
