Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
