So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
