But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
