We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this boner is exhausting
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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