Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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