You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
