On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
