i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
