Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
