does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
