the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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