You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
