I cockslap morals
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
tell me about the eggs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
