I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
