I just made out with a guy for $7.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize