Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
