Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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