Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
