Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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