so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
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