Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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