It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
