After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I want to fling myself into the sun
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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