Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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