How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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