You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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