No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
