Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
