Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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