She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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