I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
