He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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