I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
