No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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