I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
