Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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