Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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