He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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