I just made out with a guy for $7.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize