I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize