I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
