I bet he comes in French.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
