how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
