We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
