i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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