Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
