so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
