PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
