If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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