Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
