Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
