I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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