have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
