Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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