It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
